The Latest Whizdom

Here's the latest, and final, piece of advice from the Golf Guzzler. Like an opponent's case of the yips, all good things must end, and so it is with the Golf Guzzler. We had a good run on the Web for about five years, but now the Guzz is drained. For archived editions of the Guzzler's tips, check out Guzzler Gold.

ealspaugh@idccorporation.com

A: This is a common misperception. Sometimes the ball seems like it goes higher or lower but really it stays right there on top of the grass.

Dear Guzzler: I heard that golf started out as a guys' game, the word golf meaning: Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden. Is there any truth to that?

dustinhoward366@hotmail.com

A: No. Ladies were forbidden from just about everything when golf started centuries ago. Actually, the word "golf" originated as "flog" spelled backwards. Flog is what lonely Scotish shepherds did in those deep bunkers after getting a good look at the first beer wenches.

Dear Guzzler: What is a birdie on a par 5 called?

coleman_tara@hotmail.com

A: From what I hear, that would be called a four.

Dear Guzzler: My father and I have a debate we would like you to settle. He says every "wood" in your golf bag is considered a driver. I say that only the "1 wood" is the driver. Who is right?

jessemaupin@peoplepc.com

A: Every wood in my golf bag? They're considered a "piece of shit."

And with that final piece of whizdom shared, I'm off to the 19th hole ... for good!